Heart of a Torah Woman

Women Seeking His Kingdom

Walking in Torah, Loving our Families, Following Our Messiah

Leftovers should be for dinner, not given to our husband

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Leave leftovers for dinner

Good morning ladies. I hope you have an amazing prep day! Today, I would like to pose some questions and maybe provoke some deeper thinking.

There are some leftovers that are pleasing to the palette. Some taste and look better than others. Sometimes we plan them and look forward to enjoying it. Sometimes though, when we need something in a hurry we can grab some leftovers. When we don’t feel like putting in much effort to cook… leftovers. When we are being just plain lazy we also can tend to grab leftovers. I daresay that most of the time they aren’t all that great. Yeah, they can be ok and maybe even still tasty. Many kinds of leftovers can shrivel, get hard, burn, get soggy, taste weird or any other degree of grossness. Most of the time it works and tastes at least ok. Having leftovers certainly is helpful and works. Some we even look forward to. We wouldn’t want them every day though. (I’m not referencing when we are being frugal and planning it. I am referencing the leftovers that are not that great and just leftover. They are not always very good. Some can be great. Even I plan leftovers to be frugal 😊🥰)

We don’t always have leftovers because they rock our world. We do it sometimes because it is easy and takes very little effort. Is this approach that we should be taking for our marriage? Many of us do and for far longer than we would want to admit.

Are we giving our husbands our leftovers on a regular basis? Are we putting our men last? Do we expect them to give us their best regardless? Do we want them to put us first even though we might not be for them? Are we making excuses for our neglect but refuse to accept that from them? Before you just jump on me and start going into the but, but, buts, just hear me out.

We women truly do have quite a bit that we try to do or have to do each day. At times we do it to ourselves. It does get hard to keep upbeat and energetic when we are in the thick of our daily tasks. Often we tend to get caught up in the daily to do list while also raising our children. Our lists often seem never ending.

Pretty much everyone would say they do not enjoy feeling as if they are not a priority to their spouse. It feels awful when you get their leftovers and are expected to just live with it for long periods. No one likes that. It is easy to just put him off saying that you have too much to do or are tired. Many women expect their husbands to just put up with being put last all of the time. When the kids are older is the thought process behind it. It is figured that you can spend more quality time together when the kids are more grown.

It can be easy for everyone else gets the best of us. This leaves our husbands receiving what is left over. This is a recipe for disaster.

There are many creative ways to make each other a priority. Quality time is essential. Deeply knowing one another is wonderful. Have fun and play together. Be kind. Be forgiving. Patience when you are worn out helps a lot. You can work together to achieve leaving your leftovers in the past. That doesn’t mean that from time to time you won’t have even seasons where it will be harder. It can be done though. Your marriage almost certainly will get better when you both feel like you are not last all the time. (I know there can be other factors however, that is not what I am speaking to right now)

Picture your future daughter in law behaving and speaking towards your son just like you do to your own husband. Did you smile? If not, why not? Are you justifying your own behavior that is not good? We don’t want our children to be neglected or treated poorly in their marriages so we should want similar for ours. Great marriages do not just happen. Both have to put in the work, which will be worth it. Have fun leaving your leftovers where they belong, waiting for dinner and not given to each other.

Also read the post in link below about our offerings to families. How are our day to day interactions?


4 responses to “Leftovers should be for dinner, not given to our husband”

  1. Heart Of A Torah Woman Avatar

    We enjoy that too. It is a good way to connect. Gets interesting at times depending on the project but fun with good laughs.

  2. sheepmommy Avatar

    I find that working on projects together is a great way to stay connected in the middle of life, rather than feeling like we are always going in different directions.

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