Hey ladies. I pray you are having a restful and peaceful Sabbath. How we interact within family is often on my mind. Have you thought about how we behave and treat our families as offerings to them? I made quite a few mistakes over the years. Unlearning bad habits and attitudes can be a long process. How are we doing with our offerings?
So for just a moment bare with me as I say a few things before I get into the meat of the point for this post. The world has lied to us about how we should be towards our families and what expectations are acceptable. I never agreed with the wrong ideas of women pushing their husbands around and treating him like a child. I used to joke that my husband was one of my kids. Now whenever I hear that it makes me cringe. How utterly horrible that mentality is. It isn’t cute or funny. How disrespectful and demeaning. We are supposed to be living life together not bossing our husbands around or treating them like we know how everything should be done in the home and with the children. Women have gotten incredibly selfish and think their way is the best. It is worse than ever. Not all of us are like this but it is a tremendous amount and is everywhere. The man bashing is getting so old and ridiculous. Of course there are some men out there who are awful and have wrong attitudes. Just like a whole lot of women do too. Regardless, we can control our behaviors and actions. With this all being said, let’s get into our offerings. This was a game changer for me.
I never used to think about housework, cooking, training our kids, intimacy and other aspects of life being offerings. I did think of a a lot of it as serving them but not offerings. A few years back my mindset changed when my husband and I were having a discussion about who knows what, we talk about all kinds of things all the time. But I do remember what he said to me about asking me to think about it as an offering. What am I offering them? When I serve them am I doing it just out of duty? Am I doing it with an irritated attitude of all I do is serve others? Am I just saying, Here I did it, now go away or be happy I cooked, cleaned and etc even though I didn’t want to right now. (at least in action and body language or even my words)
If I am doing my domestic duties, raising my children and serving them and my beloved, what is my attitude and what am I offering them? Am I Giving them my leftovers and tromping around accusing them of being ungrateful and taking me for granted? Am I showing them I love them and do my best to do everything with a cheerful heart and a smile on my face? Am I serving them and loving them like I would if our Messiah was standing right next to me? Am I treating them and my life in a manner that is consistent with how I should be giving my offerings to our Father? (I know there is a difference but the principle is the same with attitude and etc). Am I treating my family like the blessings they are? Am I putting effort into whatever it is?
How do we respond when our husbands want and need attention? Guess what? As manly as they are, they have emotions, desires and wants just like we do even if they don’t say it. Do we engage them or do we give them a hard time while listing off everything we have to do still or complain about all the things we want from them? We still want love, affection and romance whether they are tired or not or have a ton of things they have to do. It hurts when we don’t feel like a priority to them or are put last because they want to do other things first. Engage with them! Play with them! Take that moment of quiet time they desire! That is far, far more important. The other stuff almost 100% of the time can wait. It really can. He will love that his wife wants his attention and that he is important enough to you for you to give him yours. When those times come that he has to wait or does need to come last he will be far more understanding and secure in your relationship and love.
When we are having quiet time or in middle of housework how do we react when our children want some interaction with us? Do we play that game or answer their question? Or do they get shooed away because mommy has things to do? Read them that book, dance with them when they ask you to. Be silly and make that fort with them and by all means don’t tell them you are too busy for them, once turns into all the time easily and soon they will start parroting you are too busy or they don’t want to irritate you. It sucks when you hear your words come out of their mouth. Of course there are times you really can’t because heading out the door, a baby needs to be changed or fed or your husband is coming home from work and you are going to meet him at the door with a kiss. You can ask for a rain check and then follow through. Your children will love you more for that and have some pretty awesome memories.
All of this is our offerings to our family. It matters how we approach it and can change the whole atmosphere at home for good or bad. Why not work at making it good? We have so much influence. Things can wait at times and our husband and children in turn will show their appreciation generally as well when they see and feel that you love them and show them as well. They will be secure in your love and will know that they are important to you and are not a burden. I know what it feels like to be that child who is treated as a huge burden and that wife and mother who accidentally makes my family feel like they are to me. Yikes and ouch!
It is easy to get caught up in the I have to do this, that and the other thing. Our lists can get so long. The season in life you are in dictates so much. Sometimes we have to work harder than others to maintain this. It is unrealistic and fake to be like this every moment of every day but we can always do better and as we change our mindsets and approach, life feels wonderful. You can see the blessings everywhere. You can look at that mess and think man, my kids just had a great time, I and/or we just had a lot of fun. My husband loves us enough to do that project or participate in that activity instead of UGH NOW THAT MESS HAS TO BE CLEANED UP and I am sick of it!
What are our offerings? It matters.
Visit the link below to read blog post about giving our hunny our leftovers… leftovers belong at the dinner table, not given to each other
https://torahwoman.com/2022/01/28/leftovers-should-be-for-dinner/
Beautiful advice!