Heart of a Torah Woman

Women Seeking His Kingdom

Walking in Torah, Loving our Families, Following Our Messiah

Kindness begins in the home

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Kindness.This word is loaded.  It is something we learn about from a very young age. We all know we should be. We all tell our children to be. We all want others to be kind to us. But do we actually practice kindness as a way of life? Are we known for generally being kind to our families? Do we treat our families with less kindness than we show strangers?

I would think that most of us women wake up wanting to be cheerful and tenderhearted towards others. We want to show kindness to our family. It feels good when we have days when we are pretty satisfied with our efforts.

We all have had one of those days. Everything and everyone gets on our nerves, someone looks at us sideways, we get spoken to in a tone we don’t like, our husband does something that we let sour our mood, maybe our children just aren’t listening very well that day. How do we respond compared to how we should? Sometimes I dare say we don’t do very well in that department.

Most things that set us off aren’t things done with maliciousness or on purpose to make our day worse. Sometimes there are misunderstandings, an attitude or tone and yet they had nothing to do with us but boy do we react like they were.

You know, ladies, Kindness begins in the home and we women set the pace and atmosphere for this. We have the power to turn a good day, bad as well as turn a bad day, good. We all know THOSE  kind of women who their children and husbands hide from, especially when mom is in one of her moods. Avoiding her is the best thing to do because they just don’t know if or when they will receive her wrath. And yet, we all know the other kind of women who are the complete opposite, sure, they have their moments too but they are generally known for staying sweet, gentle and KIND. That is the woman I strive to be. The kind where even when I am having a bad day, that is what is thought of about me. I don’t always achieve that but I strive more than ever to do that now. Just because I am hormonal, sore, not feeling well, someone hurt my feelings, I keep making mistakes or just feel super busy that doesn’t mean I get to treat everyone according to my mood. We should never let that dictate how we behave. Admittedly, Some days are harder than others.

Do we go around our home demanding kindness and respect from others and yet we don’t show it back? Do we tell our children and maybe even our husband to stop yelling at us while WE are yelling at them? Do we go around our home complaining that no one helps out, listens to us or treats us the way we feel we should be treated while we are doing the very same things to them? Are we making it easier or harder for others to be kind to us? Do we take a moment and remember that none of us generally want to be unkind. We all have our moments and say or do things we regret or are less than proud of.

Are we remembering that we are trying as families to better our lives together? Remembering that children are just that, children and they will, without a doubt do and say some things that are undesirable? Do we remember that we all have things to deal with throughout the day that just makes us feel bad or worn out and we can help our families cope with those moments far easier when we are kind in return? The goal is to grow together and we can achieve that by slowing down, watching our tone, watching our words and our behavior. Over time, it can get easier and easier and the odds are that it will start to be seen also in your family members if it isn’t already. These are the moments that we can influence.

Some days we get overwhelmed, that happens. How do we react to that? We can get crabby or we can strive to just show kindness. Just like when our husbands come home after a long day at work and it was just a bad day, don’t we want him to still treat us with kindness and not take it out on us? Same principle. We will not always achieve that, it is unrealistic to have that expectation on ourselves. Putting in the effort and making sure kindness is our general character probably will get easier. When you don’t do so well, ask for the others to forgive you then give yourself grace too. Growth develops over time.

What are we building up or tearing down? Proverbs 14:1 –> A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. A wise woman shows kindness and love to her husband and children. A foolish one is unkind and tromps around making everyone else including herself miserable and that is not loving them, even when we feel justified. We don’t like being on the receiving end of someone being unkind even when we did something that makes us feel justified. Don’t  we want kindness and be shown love when we are being less than lovable ourselves? Kindness begins in the home and we set the pace. Let’s build it up.

One response to “Kindness begins in the home”

  1. […] the days of chaos What are our offerings to our families? Kindness begins in the home Taking care of yourself IS a part of loving your […]

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