Welcome back ladies! Forethought Friday is here! I am writing the same day this is posted, (I do these in advance)… and tomorrow’s post isn’t done either, in fact because of the events that transpired yesterday which was my own doing, today and tomorrow are not going to be about what I initially intended. They are that important and directly related to yesterday’s post about taking care of yourself. I find this rather intriguing and ironic.
Have you ever thought about preparing to prepare for Shabbat? We have to! Honestly, the way I am thinking about now never crossed my mind before.
So ladies, in a nutshell for this relatively short post. We can make the preparation day much harder than it has to be or has to be taken care of differently.
I pushed it unintentionally yesterday when I always take it easy then and I paid dearly for it. I literally cried in a Wal-Mart bathroom due to pain from cramping and back pain (female reasons). Moving and functioning was excruciating. No exaggeration. I Ignored my body’s signs, gentle hinting from my husband who saw them because I really did not want to feel so useless. I figured because I again felt pretty good this time on that day of it. There has been a lot of improvement with how I have been affected for a very long time these past few months and I am beyond grateful. I was listening to my body and I did what I had to. Yesterday I suffered tremendously. I haven’t been in that much pain in I don’t know how long, I can’t even remember. I took my improvement as a sign I could do more. After all last month I was able to do more around house and I didn’t feel so useless. However, I was home then and slowly did it while listening to my body.
Neither one of us saw what was coming. Yet, He offered to just get the groceries. He kept saying I didn’t have to. I kept saying I was better than usually am and am tired of feeling so useless during this time. He knows what I need and very much makes it a priority for a very long time now to adjust our life during that time to let me do what I need to. We both know it gets much worse otherwise. Didn’t entirely see how bad it would get but we know it can completely wipe me out and be an extremely difficult time. He makes that a priority. He has even raised our son to be sensitive to that time for girls and women, I have never met a teen boy who is so concerned, respectful, loving and helpful in response to female cycles. I am so proud of him and proud that my husband made that a priority to teach him. If only more were raised that way. Our son has seen me suffer and I know he cares and goes out of his way to help me. Yes, I raised him like that too but I credit my husbands teaching and example far more. Praise Yah!
It was that bad because I pushed it, I made myself finish the task. Not once did it cross my mind to stop and tell him I am cashing out and admit I can’t do this. There is a vague memory of our son suggesting it now that I think of it. I was stubborn but not in a way you normally would think. I wasn’t being rebelliouss or behaving in a bad manner. Stubbornness is correct though. If I had just said ok, thanks hunny for getting the groceries and stayed home I know it wouldn’t have gotten to the point it did. We both know that. Now, I am kicking myself.
So in my effort to help and start to prep for Shabbat I made it all a lot harder. How we handle the days prior to Shabbat can directly impact how we can take on the preparation day. Instead of having a relatively easy day of getting done what I needed to and wanted to, I can’t. I have to rest and take care of myself like I should have yesterday. It was embarrassing being in a state others probably could tell I was a wreck. A man had to be able to tell I had been crying when I came out of restroom, as he was coming out of the mens, although the compassion in his eyes got my attention. That I noticed, I think he could tell something was up. It was embarrassing that I forgot two phone cards were in our one tote to hold them and cashier found them and her reaction at first was upsetting to me. I really did forget I even had them. I never do that. She did catch on though I was having a bad day. Humiliating nonetheless.
So instead of a post about how to stop yelling at your kids like I mentioned recently. I will be addressing the importance of resting and the consequences of ignoring signs. With whatever else He puts on my mind. There are so many lessons to be learned from this! It is all apart of loving Yah and loving your family, including yourself. I learned important lessons and once again the hard way! What a merciful Yah we serve.
In case you were wondering, my husband already told me lovingly that won’t be happening again and there will be no more hinting. Oh I won’t be trying that again and I know if I forget and try to anyways, he will be doing whatever it has to be. He isn’t going to stand by and let that happen again. I am forever grateful that he loves me enough to prevent it to the degree he can and takes his role seriously. I know without a doubt he would have just taken the list yesterday if he even thought it could get anywhere near what it did yesterday.
How are you preparing to prepare for Shabbat?
Until next time!