Heart of a Torah Woman

Hi sweet ladies! I spend a lot of time thinking about so many things that can improve a woman’s walk with our Creator, her family and life in general. I daily think about how I can be better and raise our daughter to grow up to be a woman who brings glory to God. I want our family to succeed in walking as He would want us to. Today I am pondering yet again about what it means to be a “keeper at home”. This is serious and we know that because it is tied to the word of God being blasphemed. It was important enough to be said for the older women to be teaching the younger. Just like loving your family entails much more than just saying you love them and going through the motions, so does being a keeper at home mean so much more than what we hear.

For the most part you will hear that this means a woman is to stay home and that is all it means. You’re work is home. You cook, clean and manage the house. You raise the kids. But I really think that a whole lot is being missed. I think that is far too vague and you also can not apply something just across the board in every situation.

First of all our value is far beyond just cooking and cleaning. That is not all we are here for.

What about all the women who absolutely HAVE to work. Does that somehow mean now she is committing blasphemy because she does? No way! What about women whose husbands tell them they have to? Now you have two parts of Titus 2 pitted against each other. What about a woman who is in a situation and lifestyle that if they don’t work now they don’t eat or keep the electric on? What if a husband is ok with her working? There are so many scenarios at play here.

Now in full transparency I do believe women should be home. I do believe in being homemakers/housewives. I call myself a housewife personally and have a post and podcast episode out that explains why I chose to stop calling myself a stay at home mom. Many of the principles as to why apply to women in general. However I completely disagree with the “war” that goes on between those who stay home and those who don’t. Those who work do not love their families less and those who stay at home aren’t setting us back to the stone ages. Both have a lot they deal with too. Women who work generally want to be around their families more and women who stay home have ambition and are not lazy. Neither needs to be putting down or bad mouthing the other. The things that both sides say gets pretty ugly and disgusting. I can’t stand seeing it. I will not treat women who work outside the home any different than I would a woman who doesn’t. That would be wrong and I have friends who do both. They are good women who are trying. Both types of women get overwhelmed, exhausted and get emotionally drained and struggle so the answer isn’t to tell them to do the opposite to be happier or less overwhelmed. That is ridiculous to hear that it is more one side or the other, all women can get burned out and have issues and working or not working doesn’t seem to matter.

With that being said let’s consider some things that is not the norm to hear regarding the home. What does this mean? I think it can mean different things to different people for some aspects of it. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

A woman who has a family still has to “keep the home”. When you keep something what are you doing? You are keeping it, guarding it, protecting it, nurturing it, loving it, caring for it, getting rid of anything that is dirty on it, you preserve it and much more. It is yours. You don’t put something you want to keep on a shelf and forget about it to let it waste away.

You have to do these things in the home regardless if you are working or not. It is our responsibility too. I believe these go hand in hand with being your husbands help meet. We have so much that we have control over and influence. If we aren’t guarding our homes that is when trouble can happen.

Keeping our home well includes HOW we keep it. It goes far beyond just the physical. How are our attitudes, demeanor and tones? Where are we spiritually? If we are just taking care of things but are being mean and nasty than all we are doing is literally the letter of it, kind of and completely missing why we keep our homes and we certainly are not loving them the way we should and that is also tied to what the older should be teaching the younger. This does not mean we will never have a bad day, attitude or fall short. That is incredibly unrealistic.

Another important thing to note is our existence is not meant to nor supposed to be only to serve everyone else, sit down, shut up, not allowed to have any kind of hobbies, things enjoy, an opinion or any of the other many things that seems to be thought processes out there. Obviously, how we live those all out matters too. Being selfish is not good. Refusing to serve our families is not good either. Being loud, brash, bossy and mean is not ok. There are caveats but we are allowed to have a brain, serve and be served, love and be loved, nurturing and nurtured, and everything else that families should be enjoying together. How we should be towards them should never be conditional.

It matters how we keep our home. What example are we setting for our kids? Are we trying to clean up what gets dirty? Are we trying to preserve what is in our household to the degree that we can? How about guarding ourselves and our homes? All these things applies to ourselves, our marriages, raising our children, what we allow into our homes that we can control, what we allow into our minds and marriages. Every aspect of our lives needs to be “kept”.

Things will happen that we don’t have control over. We can only control ourselves. How we keep our home and interact with our family should never be contingent on our feelings and sin that may enter that is hard to handle. This does not mean you have to tolerate things shouldn’t. Not at all. Every member of our family is valuable. We will do and say things that are undesirable. At times we can hurt our family members and it can be deep just like we can be hurt deeply too. How we handle those hurts and wounds is part of being a “keeper at home”.

We set the pace and atmosphere. What are we emitting? Is it light or is it darkness? Does it tend to depend on moods and feelings? Imagine if God did that to His people.

What “supplies” are we using? Are we going to ungodly sources and people that will not help us get closer to God and our family? Do they encourage bitterness and selfishness? Are we going to Godly things and people that will help us stay on track and make the best decisions and actions that bring glory to our Creator?

Constantly be in a prayerful state of mind and get into your Bibles regularly. Those are absolutely necessary to walking with Yah. We can not do life without these and still bring Glory to Him. We can’t walk as Yeshua walked if we are not talking to God and reading His word constantly. we can’t copy what we don’t know. Actions are what matters. Who are we following? The one Who IS love or the one who is our enemy?

Every women is a “keeper” of her home. Are we preserving and keeping it clean? Are we guarding what comes in?

There is so much more to being a woman than what we often hear. We all are valuable. Every single one of us matters to Yah! We all have a bigger purpose than simply just serving our husbands. How are we doing in our walk and “keeping” our homes? It goes FAR beyond just being at home all the time.

It matters.

Until next time!